


Blupjeans Unsolved Supernatural: Two Moons Conspiracy

by kellysaur



Series: Blupjeans Unsolved Supernatural [2]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Conspiracy, F/M, background kravitz, background taakitz, background taako - Freeform, buzzfeed unsolved au, just banter, two moons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22963027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kellysaur/pseuds/kellysaur
Summary: “Today, we are going to be examining the two moon conspiracy. For our viewers at home that may be unfamiliar,” Barry offers, “The Two Moon Conspiracy surrounds the idea that we haven’t always had two moons. Up to a certain—very recent—point in time, records never mention two moons.”
Relationships: Barry Bluejeans/Lup
Series: Blupjeans Unsolved Supernatural [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650238
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	Blupjeans Unsolved Supernatural: Two Moons Conspiracy

Barry and Lup sit next to each other at a large desk. The walls around them are covered with newspaper clippings and blurry photographs. 

Barry turns to face the camera in front of them. “Welcome to another episode of Buzzfeed: Unsolved Supernatural, where we try to answer questions about the world around us.”

“Also,” Lup pipes up, “Taako can’t join us today because he’s on a date and he thought that was more important. Asshole.”

“Today,” Barry continues, as if he hadn’t been interrupted, “We’re going to be taking a look at the Two Moon Conspiracy.” 

“Oh, _hell_ yeah!” Lup grins. “Babe, this is something I can get behind.” 

Barry cocks an eyebrow. “You believe in the Two Moon Conspiracy?”

Lup snorts. “I mean, assuming we’re talking about the same thing, yeah. It makes sense. We _know_ there are two moons.”

“For our viewers at home that may be unfamiliar,” Barry offers, “The Two Moon Conspiracy surrounds the idea that we haven’t _always_ had two moons. Up to a certain—very recent—point in time, records never mention two moons.”

“And just how recent is that point in time, babe?”

Barry grins. “About ten years ago.”

“See? This is cool. This is recent. This is _believable._ Unlike this ghost shit you’re always going on about.” 

Barry chuckles, pulling a groan from Lup. 

“You’re going to make this sound ridiculous. Aren’t you.”

“Theory one!” Barry glances at the papers in front of him. He doesn’t add that spooky edge to his voice that he’s known for, because this theory is… Not spooky at all. “We’ve always had two moons, and the plural of ‘moon’ has just been ‘moon’ until a change in dialect ten years ago.”

“Even for me, that sounds dumb,” Lup huffs. “You’re telling me across languages, they talked the same way about this one specific thing and then all changed how they talked about it at the same time? That’s not how that works. Next.” 

Barry shrugs. “Uh, okay… Theory two, then. Ten years ago, the planet pulled another space rock into orbit around it. This makes sense because one moon is much smaller than the other, so it could have easily been tugged in.”

When Lup doesn’t add anything, Barry turns to her. “Nothing to say to that?”

Lup shrugs. “That makes sense. That’s how space works, babe. Dunno what you want me to say.”

Barry’s smile turns sinister, like she’d fallen right into his trap. “But it _doesn’t_ make sense, is the thing. This was ten years ago, Lup. Why did nobody mention it? Why don’t we _remember_ it happening? You have to admit that it’s weird.”

Lup narrows her eyes. “Okay, babe. I’ll bite. What’s theory three?”

“Lup, I am so glad you asked.” He picks up his papers and taps them on his desk to line them up, as if he’s about to deliver some breaking news. “Buckle in for Theory Number Three.” 

“Oh god.” 

Barry clears his throat and puts on his best spooky voice. “Theory number three is that the smaller moon isn’t actually a moon at all. Instead, it’s a base for a secret organization.”

“ _What?!_ Barold—” 

Barry holds up a finger to silence her. “The second moon appeared about ten years ago. No one seemed to notice it or mention it. Some people have suggested that this is because whoever put it there altered our memories somehow. They didn’t want us to know it was odd. They were hiding in plain sight.”

He finally turns, looking oddly smug, to face Lup, whose mouth is wide open. 

“Are you _fucking_ kidding me?! That’s what people believe?! That a _secret organization lives on the moon?!_ They’re just making shit up!”

Barry shakes his head. “No! It makes sense! Do you remember having one moon?”

Lup sputters for a moment. “ _No,_ but that doesn’t mean the logical conclusion is _‘a secret organization made a second moon!’”_

“No offense, Lup, but you’ve been alive a long time. You should remember only having one moon more clearly than you remember having two.”

Lup barely avoids throwing her head in her hands as she groans. “How the fuck would they be modifying our memories like that, Barold? On such a mass scale? The whole fucking _world?”_

“It’s a secret organization,” Barry shrugs. “How do any secret organizations keep their identity under wraps? Maybe it’s like a big-scale version of the Men in Black.” 

“They just mind flashed the whole world and made us forget?!”

“Just speculation. If I find the secret organization, I’ll be sure to ask.” 

Lup pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’m gonna come up with a theory _right now_ that makes more sense.”

Barry leans back in his chair. “Go for it.”

“Aliens. The second moon is an alien spaceship.” 

Barry frowns. “How does that make more sense?”

“Because _aliens exist,_ Bluejeans! The universe is vast enough that aliens _have_ to exist! Secret organizations don’t! They’re dumb and they make no sense!”

“But why would the aliens be here? What’s their motive? And how did we not notice them arriving?”

Lup pulls out her cell phone. “It makes more sense and I’ll prove it. I’m calling Taako.” 

Barry throws his arms in the air, exasperated. “He’s your brother! He’s going to take your side!”

“Then I’ll ask his fucking _date!_ Your theory is bullshit!”

She dials his number and puts him on speaker phone. It rings for a long moment before finally, Taako’s voice pings through. “Lup, what the fuck? I told you I was busy.”

“You’re on speaker,” she snaps, “Put your date on the phone.”

 _“What? Lu—”_

“Do it before I lose my damn mind!”

Barry leans towards the phone. “She’s pretty heated about this one, Taako. I’d listen to her.”

Taako’s groan is audible, but they hear the sound of the phone shifting hands. A low, smooth voice answers. “…Hello?”

“Hey, Taako’s date. This is his sister. What’s your name?”

“Kravitz. What—” 

“I don’t have much time before I fucking lose my mind, Kravitz, so I’m gonna be the one asking the questions. What makes more sense: the second moon is an alien spaceship because aliens definitely exist, or the second moon is the base of a secret organization with no known purpose and mind-altering superpowers?”

There’s a moment’s hesitation, and then: “I mean, there has to be some mind-altering something involved, so I’m inclined to say that makes the most sense. Otherwise we would—” 

Lup ends the call. 

“You’re fucking _insane,_ Bluejeans! That doesn’t make sense! And Taako just loves dumb men. And—” 

Barry does his best to sign off, speaking loud enough that the mics might pick him up over her. “Anyways, that’s going to do it for us today! See you next time!”

**Author's Note:**

> I have some bigger projects in the works, but I wanted to get something fun posted! I've been really busy with my teaching job, but I'm finally figuring it out enough to have time for writing. Sorry I've been gone so long!
> 
> You can find me @WorldsGayestDM on twitter or @holla-pain-yo on tumblr. 
> 
> Remember to leave a comment and kudos if you liked it!


End file.
